Self-Awareness
I enjoy participating in Triathlon's. I have now done an Ironman, half Ironman and several sprint triathlon events. This year I will participate in a half ironman on April 4th in Oceanside, a couple of sprint triathlons at Lake Arrowhead and Spring Valley Lake, and the Vineman, a full distance Ironman on August 1st in Santa Rosa. The fact that all these races are scheduled helps me to train regularly. My physical goals are extremely focused for the year.
Every time I enter one of these races, I arrive thinking I am well prepared. I usually take the time to drive the course a couple of times and though I feel the normal nerves of race day, I usually feel like I have done the work necessary to put in a very good effort. When I am training for these races I feel positive and strong. I feel like I can swim, bike and run with the best of them. Well maybe not the best of them, but I feel very competent in all of the events.
On race day, I discover something very different. I see people who are really good at swimming. I see people who are really good at biking. I see people who are really good at running. I even see some people who are really good at all three. Then I am forced to stare reality in the face, and see that I am not very good at any of them. I know that sounds a bit harsh, but it is the truth. It doesn't bother me in the least to discover this. I don't let it bother me and I am usually only aware of it on race day. Somehow I am able to trick myself into believing while I am training that I am good at all three disciplines. I had to dig pretty deep to remember that I am not, just so I could write about it.
I do not train to win. I train to finish each triathlon I enter. I do not train to go fast. My goal is to finish. So when I get there and become aware that I am not as good at the individual events as many of the other people there I don't worry about it. I am a finisher. It is my strength, it is what I do well. I may not be able to swim, bike or run faster than everybody, but I can finish with the best of them and at the end of the day, I get the same "Finisher Medal" as everybody else does.
Here is my point, many of us are very aware of our weaknesses, but too few of us are aware of our unique strengths. We don't see them and if we do, we don't advertise them because we are afraid if we do people will think we are boasting. Nobody wants to follow a failure. It is normal to know where we are weak, almost everyone does. Great leaders become aware of their strengths and then they leverage those strengths to get the most out of others. Yes, they see their flaws, but they don't worry about that. They spend their time focusing on what they do well, gladly letting others fill in the gaps.
Awareness of Others
My brother Danny grew a wonderful mustache when he was just 16 years old. He looked like Mark Spitz and until he was 25 years old, he almost always had that mustache. Shortly after he turned 25, he got married. His wife liked him better without a mustache so he shaved it off. That was over 25 years ago and yet, when I think of my brother, I still picture him with a mustache (he will be happy to know that I also see him with a full head of hair). It doesn't matter that he shaved it off long ago, the image of that mustache is imprinted on my mind.
This seems harmless enough, but imagine, if as a youth he frequently behaved in a way that demonstrated an annoying need to always be right. Now imagine that he worked very hard to eliminate that behavior, but those closest to him always remembered that when he was a kid he always wanted to be right, never becoming aware that he has outgrown that desire. Would this be fair? No, it wouldn't but it happens all the time. I know I am guilty of holding on to these types of judgments a whole lot more than I would like to admit. The important thing is that I am aware that I am doing it.
My prejudices and biases can get in the way of seeing others as they really are if I am not careful to examine them. It would be very difficult to live without any prejudices and biases, but can they hinder my ability to see the truth. Part of my journey to self-awareness was the labor of identifying those that I have and then learning how to suspend them, when needed, so that I could fully help others be their very best. I had to learn how to hold up a mirror so that the client could see himself the way he really is so that he could become his very best. I couldn't do that, until I learned to put down my own picture and stopped trying to get them to be like me.
Once I did that, it became very easy for me to listen to others, which led to a greater awareness of what they needed, which in turn led to the development of a greater capacity for me to help others get what they want and needed, instead of what I wanted them to have or thought they needed.
So What?
My goal in describing this behavior is to give you a couple of simple examples of becoming aware of self and others. Awareness is actually a very deep subject and one that I have contemplated for many hours. While it may be difficult to become fully aware of self and others, it is important that we take that first step. It is an awesome journey with many stopping points along the way. If you search the term "awareness" on google you will get over 89 million hits. None of them will be more important than your own thinking. To develop awareness you don't need to know what the great minds of thought about it. You need to know what you think about it. It is the questions you ask of yourself that will bring you the greatest amount of awareness.
Here are two questions to get you started. I write them in the voice of the first person with the hope that you will hear your own voice when you read it. "How much time do I spend noticing what is happening to me so that I can make meaning out of those experiences?" and "What can I do to better understand the true potential of those I lead?" These questions will lead you to more questions that will foster greater awareness.
As always, I am curious to know what you are thinking. What questions help you to become more aware of yourself and others? What experiences have led you to greater awareness. I am looking forward to hearing your thoughts.
Life is good!
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