I mentioned in a previous post that the road to my client's office here in Buenos Aires passes along side the Rio De La Plata. For months now, this road has been under construction. The construction crews are busy widening the road.
On one stretch of the road, it appears that there is no room to widen the road. On one side there is an airport and on the other, there is the river. The only choice was to build the new lanes in the river. Each day, the work crews deliver sand, gravel and fill dirt to the river banks, and then compact it down with heavy equipment.
Not surprisingly, It is taking a lot of time to build these new lanes. Some of the materials wash away before the construction workers are able to compact it down. They have been at it now for over a year.
I am sure that the every day passerby hardly notices that progress is being made, but as a monthly observer, I can easily see the changes being made. The differences that are occurring over time are very small and subtle, but they are very real.
Behavioral Progress Is Difficult To See
So it is with our own personal growth and development. It takes time to change our behavior and it is difficult for those closest to us to notice that we are growing. Our development happens in very small stages so many barely recognize that we are growing.
They don't see it, because they see us as they have experienced us in the past, and they hold tightly to those memories. One of the most difficult things about growing is changing the perceptions that others have.
How Do You See The World?
It use to upset me when people did not notice that I was growing. Then I realized that I suffered from the same problem. I was so focused on not being noticed, that I failed to notice the growth in others. I came to the conclusion that if I wanted my growth to be seen by others, then I would need to start seeing the growth that they were experiencing.
I still find it very difficult to do with those closest to me. For some reason, I want to hold on to the previous experiences and the belief that my close family and friends are still like they were in the past. It makes it harder for me to see who they are now, when they fail to see me for who I am. There is a much stronger emotional reaction when they fail to see me and it throws me off of my resolve to see them.
One strategy that works for me is to ask myself at every new encounter, "what is different about this person I love?" When I ask myself this question, I get in touch with the love I have for him or her and I look for the growth that is occurring with my friend or family member. The answers to this question never cease to amaze me.
Seeing Things As They Really Are
Questions like the one I just posed, help me to see what is current and real helping me bust away the previous perceptions that I formed, which may no longer be valid.
Like the new lanes being built along the Rio De La Plata, it takes a lot of time to build new images of those we love and admire. It is only difficult to see, when we keep seeing what we have always seen. The only way to see what is new is to look for it. Are you looking?
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